John Fraley Piano Lessons

Here are the four main things the best piano parents do best.

A) Read my chicken scratches in your child's notebook. Yes, my handwriting is as awful as your average pharmacist, so it may take two attempts to decipher, and you should feel free to call me if a sentence is illegible or unfinished, as might sometimes happen. Knowing your child's assignment is half the battle. This way you know if they are following instructions. It sounds simple, but many parents skip this crucial step.

You can trust your child to read the notebook. Just read it to them first. Out loud. Then let them be in charge of subsequent readings throughout the week. The one thing I can't stand is when I show up for the lesson, ask to hear a piece, and the student replies with "Oh, I didn't know I had to work on that..."  That's not acceptable, and it wastes everyone's time.

B) Encourage practice, and follow through. I do not assign unreasonable amounts of practice. I figure out how much each child needs to do to improve at a healthy pace, and I assign that much. It's a different amount for every student. It's also crucial that you provide some outside motivation for your child to reach the weekly practice goal. This may mean nagging him or her. It's worth it, and you can even make me the bad guy. You didn't assign the practice requirements -- I did. A good strategy to "nag" successfully goes like this: "John will be here in two days and he will be disappointed to see an incomplete practice log. Please get three more reps done this evening on each assignment and your lesson will go even better than usual."

FYI: You may have to say this every week. My mom sure did. In fact, she might have said something along those lines pretty much every day for a while, until I got the hang of it and sat down to practice BEFORE she could prod me along. She freely admits to nagging me. It doesn't seem to have ruined our relationship or my love for piano. This may not always be fun for the parent, and as the father of two young boys, I realize all too well the importance of picking your battles. So go ahead and pick them. Just make sure piano is one you fight when the time is right.

"But what if my child won't practice?" I get this one a lot. First thing to realize is that kids will have good weeks and bad weeks. Don't fret over one lousy week of practice, especially if piano is just one of many activities your child enjoys. But if it turns into a trend, if every single day you're pulling teeth to get that kid to the piano, then I have this advice for you.

         1. Don't give in right away. Persevere. She or he will thank you later.
         2. Emphasize completion of practice assignments rather than reaching a semi-arbitrary number of minutes logged at the piano.
         3. Institute your own reward system. Make a chart, and let your child earn a cool prize for 20 days of authentic practice in a given month. Many parents already do this and I endorse it fully. 
         4. Talk about frustration honestly with him or her. Maybe he or she is really done with piano, or ready for a change, or just kind of wiped out. But maybe not.
         5. Ask me for new materials to re-ignite interest. (This works. I won't be offended in the slightest. I'll actually welcome your input.)
         6. Take a break. Meet with me and we can set up a series of lessons that don't require practice in between. This is, of course, a stopgap measure.
         7. Set a deadline. "I respect your frustration, but we're going to do this until Christmas/spring break/June and then we'll talk again about piano."

C) Sit in on as many lessons as you can. The students who excel tend to have parents present at many lesson times. Once your child realizes you care enough about their piano journey to spend that half hour or 45 minutes in the lesson, he or she will give an extra effort throughout the week. Now of course, if your presence makes your child exceedingly nervous, maybe you should observe from a distance. Pretend to balance your checkbook in the next room or something along those lines. Or stick around for just five minutes. Your investment of time in the lesson process pays gigantic dividends.

The single greatest predictor of student success is not talent. It really isn't. It is consistent parental involvement. I have had several students who overcame a lack of talent to thrive, and each time they have been buoyed by this three-pronged foundation: strong parental support, plenty of personal motivation, and my patient guidance.

Be involved. Care. The kids can tell when you really, truly care.

D) Praise them for their progress whenever the occasion arises. But please remember to be patient -- sometimes it will take a couple of months before the incremental weekly progress adds up and you notice your child is playing with emotion, precision and dexterity all at once. Just find an excuse to say something like, "Wow, you've really worked hard on that piece for a while and it sounds fantastic. You're turning into a real piano player!" A genuine compliment like that will go farther than you ever thought it would.

Follow those four steps and watch your child excel.